During a recent martial-art sparring event, my 15-year-old son was hit in the mouth by an opponent; he received a nasty, sizable cut on his lip. Although the cut wasn’t big enough to warrant an emergency room visit, it was big enough to prompt a fanatical reaction from me. I completely flipped! While dressing his wound, I found myself ranting about “my beautiful boy’s perfect face!” And “What if you’re scarred for life?!” And, in spite of other people’s reassurance that a simple butterfly strip would do here, I was back and forth on taking Craig to the emergency room. My reasoning? “We need to get this stitched up to minimize scarring!”

       But Craig had a different perception. “It’s my battle scar, mom! It’s awesome! Do you know how many chicks I’m going to get with this thing?” I was instantly dumbstruck—NOT because of my son’s ploy to woo unsuspecting girls with his tough-guy qualities, but because in that moment, my son unintentionally reminded me of one of the most brilliant and beautiful gifts that the Universe has bestowed upon mankind—pain.

       When we have an injury, such as a cut on our lip, our natural response is pain. Pain gets our attention and prompts us to take action. Besides cleaning, stitching, and bandaging the wound—necessary but painful processes, we become mindful about minimizing any contact with a wound once it is dressed. This is because contact with it can be downright painful. Eventually, however, the normal body processes triumph, and the wound heals to a scar. This is an interesting phenomenon because the resultant scar is invariably stronger than the skin that it replaced. It doesn’t hurt to touch a scar, we can rub it, teach from it, talk about it, and we are wiser from having healed from it. And in some cases, such as with my son, we can glean gifts from our scars that we otherwise would never know.

       Believe it or not, our emotional pain can bear similar gifts. Yet the process of emotional healing is often misunderstood. This misunderstanding presents itself in cliché expressions such as, “She’s emotionally scarred for life! And, “He will never be the same after this!” But these expressions are misnomers, and not true reflections of the benefits of healing. In fact, it is only when emotional pain is ignored that we encounter negative consequences, such as interpersonal dysfunction. This is depicted by the quintessential “emotionally unavailable” or “shut down” person who seems incapable of relating to others in a meaningful or intimate way. Such persons are not necessarily scarred for life, but more likely are not acknowledging that their wounds are present in the first place. And yes, emotional healing is usually in order here.

     Know that this does not mean the journey of healing is always easy—or pleasant. It’s not. And anyone who tells you it is probably isn’t telling you the truth. When we have unprocessed (unhealed) emotional wounds, the process of healing can hurt. Marianne Williamson expresses this wisdom beautifully, “If you go to a therapist, and every week it’s delightful, you are at the wrong therapist!”
The good news, however, is that just like the process of physical healing; we can also allow our emotional wounds to heal to scars. And these emotional scars are not debilitating, as most people believe. Quite the contrary! Like physical scars, they serve to make us stronger, tougher, wiser, and more compassionate in our quest for a fulfilling life experience.

       I am reminded here about a fascinating story I learned about in intermediate school; we were studying the human nervous system and learned about a little girl who was born without the ability to feel pain. Doctors then could not figure out why this little girl could not feel pain; all they knew was that her nervous system was wired in such a way that she could not. My entire class was spellbound. Upon first hearing this story, we all thought, “What a lucky little girl! She can’t feel pain! Wow! I would give anything to have that problem!” The class was buzzing with undue interest, suppositions, and even jealousy of this precious little being - whom we later learned was at a gross life disadvantage. Upon further study, we found out that this little girl was a constant lethal threat to herself. Because of her inability to feel pain, she would do things like jump off of a swing and sprain her ankle, then continue to run around on it—causing irreparable damage to surrounding tissue. She would slam herself down on the ground to inspect an interesting bug. She bit through her tongue on several occasions. She bit the sides of her cheeks and bit the skin off of her fingers because she could not feel pain. In essence, she had no “feedback” mechanism to let her know that she had a broken bone, had an ear infection, a bee sting, or a cut on her knee. To the utter shock of the entire class, we learned that her lack of pain was a devastating and dangerous condition.

       This little girl had to be constantly supervised. She made the same “mistakes” over and over again and become annoyed when the adults around her redirected her to safer activities. What became apparent to us is that this little girl could not learn anything about many things. Her inability to feel pain was a gross disadvantage as she had to be taught everything through logic, and without the redirection of pain, she simply could not learn about her environment in a normal, experiential way.

       In 1983, Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis (CIPA) was listed as a medical disorder—so rare that only 1 in 125 million people are born with it. A person with CIPA cannot feel pain or differentiate between very extreme temperatures. Consequently, they do not sweat. About half of people born with CIPA die before age three, due to either unidentified injuries or overheating. People with CIPA are very likely to injure or kill themselves in ways that would normally be prevented by the experience of pain or discomfort. Additionally, people with CIPA cannot feel if they have an internal injury or illness, such as appendicitis, and therefore go without treatment, which can very easily lead to death.

       When I am going through my more difficult life experiences, I remind myself of the little girl who couldn’t feel pain. I recognize that pain—whether physical or emotional—is essentially a gift to humanity. And healing from pain brings about immeasurable contributions that serve my spiritual journey in a way that a life of placid comfort never could.

       So on this journey of life, my sweet friend, just put one spiritual step in front of the other. Be grateful to your pain, whatever form, for it is your guide. Rather than ignoring or anesthetizing your pain with drugs, alcohol, computer games, sex, work, compulsive shopping, etc..., be willing to go within to lovingly explore what is driving these maladaptive behaviors. Sometimes this is all it takes to experience relief and healing. Allow your physical and emotional pain to speak to you and tell you what needs to be addressed. What sadness needs soothing? What or whom do you need to forgive? What of your shame needs to be exonerated? Trust that your pain will let you know when healing has occurred—by way of its disappearance. When you allow this natural process to be integrated into your life, you will start living your full potential—not in spite of your pain, but because of it.

In Divine Love, Laurel

 

Happy Now!

The body’s sacral pump exists at the base of the spine. The sacral pump is responsible for the regulation of spinal fluid flow and consequent stimulation of the human brain. Activating the sacral pump will quickly lift depression and increase mental focus. There are many simple ways to activate your sacral pump; rock in a rocking chair, jump on a trampoline, swing on a swing, or even sit on the edge of a bed and bounce for a while. One of the best ways to activate the body’s sacral pump is to gently bounce on a big yoga-exercise ball.

Work to create sacral pump stimulation in your daily routine. Replace your computer chair with an exercise ball and you will notice not only an increase in your mental focus but an effectual mood pick-me-up. A family meeting held with everyone sitting on exercise balls will keep levity in the discussion and improve children’s attention to content.*

Not only are exercise balls fun, they are replacing chairs in some classrooms for children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This practice increases task-oriented focus and eliminates distraction in the students. This, of course, helps the child’s self esteem as he is no longer receiving negative attention from classmates or the teacher.

Imagine a psychiatrist prescribing exercise balls for children afflicted with ADHD! That might not happen with any regularity in this century, but why not provide an exercise ball for your own youngster during homework time? Instead of his/her normal groaning at the thought of pulling out that huge science packet, she might just jump up and say, “Yessss! It’s time to do my homework!”

Who would have thought that exercise balls could help people be so happy?

In Divine Love,
Laurel Lee 

 
This tip came in part from an enlightening conversation with Dr. Brown of Total Healthcare Chiropractic of Arizona.      Thanks Dr. Brown!

*Common Sense Caution: Use care with exercise balls and children; provide smaller balls so their feet touch the ground easily, and have them only use the balls in carpeted or grassy areas and away from hard furniture or corners. Hold toddlers with you on the ball or on your lap and bounce very gently, being careful not to jar them or bounce them too hard. Do not hold infants while bouncing on an exercise ball. Rather, rock in a rocking chair or cradle the infant (on her back) while sitting on the edge of a bed, springing lightly. Support infant’s head at all times during such activity.
 

Hello Divine Ones! I found this nifty little article about a unique and simple panic attack cure (curepanicattacks2.com); I thought I’d share. I’ve used this technique with my trauma clients with remarkable results. It’s simple, painless, quick, FREE, and, anthropologically, it makes total sense. Enjoy!

Cure your panic attacks through the “check for danger” looking to the sides…
As most people with panic attacks know, a panic attack is the body’s response to fear. In today’s modern times we don’t specifically have any real dangers to deal with as we had when we were still living in caves. But unfortunately our brains haven’t moved away from that stage of human development and we still react in the same way as the Stone Age people did to fear. The difference is that they had real things to fear, like lions, pumas and other predators. So when out hunting or gathering they had to look out not to become dinner for some fearsome beast.

So this is going to sound ridiculous but… when we feel a panic attack closing up on us we can simply use the “check for danger” technique.

This is how you cure your panic attacks through “check for danger”  First, turn your head slowly to the right as much as you can, then you look to the right and observe what you can see in the corner of your eye to the right. Take your time to really try to see everything on your right side. Then turn your head to the left and look and observe what you can see to the left. Then turn your head to the center and observe what you see right in front of you. Normally this stops the attack from coming.

Why does it work?

The reason it works is that we still have such a primitive reaction to fear so the movement to the right and left whilst checking for danger tells the brain that there is nothing to fear and so it shuts down the panic reaction. If you still are really wound up after doing the right left head turns – just repeat them again and make sure that you really observe what you can see.


Love and blessings,
Laurel
www.tappingintolove.net

DEBT. Ugh. This four-letter-word can rob many people from peace of mind and joy. Add to the mix a myriad of starving bill collectors, and the power struggles, shame, and remorse that almost always accompanies the experience of debt, and the result is an emotional nightmare that no one would willingly choose for him/herself. With the current economic depression and many people having been forced out of once solid career paths, unpaid debt is just part of the rumble.

     Of course, it is always in best practice to pay your debt; even $5 a month keeps the flow of energy moving and shows the universe and your debtors that you are honoring your commitments. With that being said, some people simply cannot pay their bills. And let’s face it; paying $5 on a $10,000 credit card debt is not going to keep that creditor happy. And there’s nothing more nerve-wracking than verbally hashing it out with a bad-tempered debt collector who won’t get paid unless s/he scares some proverbial green out of a turnip. (OK... I know I messed up that saying... but you know what I mean.) Further, in this day of electronic data gathering, debt purchases, and multiple digital fingers various financial pies, it is not uncommon for people to be harassed for debt that has already been paid, or phantom debt—that is, debt that has never existed in the first place.

     “Sarah,” a young woman who attended one of my recent stress-management workshops, was so frazzled by bill collectors, that it was costing her peace of mind. She was laid off her job a year ago and is currently only working part time. The money she makes is barely enough to keep the lights on at home. She has several unpaid credit cards and medical bills that have fallen by the wayside in efforts to keep a roof above her children’s head and clothes on their back. Because of the debt-collecting calls she was receiving almost daily, she wasn’t sleeping and her stomach was always in horrible knots. In fact, bill collectors called her several times a day and harassed her for money that she simply did not have. Most of them were rude, obnoxious, and downright degrading. “We’ll start the proceedings then!” One such bill collector boldly proclaimed.

     “What are you even talking about? What proceedings?” Sarah scoffed.

     “Good luck!” The debt collector mocked and then hung up on her. While Sarah figured the debt collector was just using a scare tactic, she was worried at the thought that she might have to go to court, or worse, go to jail for not being able to pay her bills!

     To quell her fear, I consulted with my good friend and lawyer, Launi Jones. Launi offered this advice for Sarah: No. There is no debtor’s jail. Tell her to say the following to the creditor: 1) Please provide me with a verification of the debt and 2) Please no longer contact me by phone. Both those statements should be restated in writing to the collector. If they do contact her again by phone they are in violation of the Fair Debt Collection Act. If they do that, she should contact me. Every violation has a $1,000 penalty plus attorney fees.

     I immediately called Sarah and shared Launi’s advice. She was relieved and grateful and, armed with just this little bit of knowledge, she was able to “turn the tables” on those voracious bill collectors. Within just three days, her phones became quiet. She sent me an email a few days later and said that she had just enjoyed her first good-night’s sleep in three months.

     Please note that, even if bill collectors stop calling you, it is very important that you do not ever ignore alleged or real debt. Suing for debt is becoming a common practice in America—which really isn’t as scary as it sounds. But! You must show up in court to dispute inaccurate/false claims, or the debtor will automatically “win” the case. No, it isn’t fair, but it’s a possibility in this day and age. If you are caught up in this unfair game, do not fret. Remind yourself of the karmic laws that govern the universe; life keeps perfect books. While taking action to protect yourself is definitely encouraged, you do not need to worry about “getting even” with the collection agent who falsifies debt and creates unfair and miserable circumstances for others—simply for a paycheck. That agent is living under a pretense that life is unfair, and the only way to get ahead is by stepping on others, lying, cheating, and bullying others into compliance. That’s one miserable person right there! And life has a way of leveling the playing field, in ways that you could never imagine. So don’t worry about revenge. Focus instead on your own integrity and taking necessary action to become educated about handling potential debt injustice.

     For more detailed information on the Fair Debt Collection Act, you can Google same, or visit http://www.fair-debt-collection.com/ or http://www.moneytalksnews.com/.

     Don’t let intimidating debt collectors ruin your peace of mind. Follow Launi’s advice above. Then take necessary steps to reconcile your debt. Work with a credit counseling agency or check out your employee assistance program (EAP). Many EAP's offer debt counseling and repayment plans as a free service to employees. Then, if you are spiritually up for it, bless that seemingly horrid bill collector—for s/he is a child of God in disguise. Adding love to the mix will, of course, bring higher and faster energies in, thus making the process of debt reconciliation easier than expected.

In Divine Love,
Laurel Lee

Launi does free law consultations. She can be reached at:
(480)367-0444 or at launi@popilekandjones.com

Honey Bean,
7 years old.
She’s not spoiled
or anything…

My dear friend Michelle recently gave me a bookmark that reads, “Dear Lord. Please help me be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.” Indeed! My Chihuahua, Honey, thinks I am the most wonderful, loving, brilliant person on the planet. Even though I don’t remotely measure up to her perceptions, Honey loves me anyway. Honey loves me whether I’m having a bad hair day, have gained five pounds, or whether or not my shoes match my purse. She is delighted to see me when I arrive home from work, the grocery store, or from getting the mail. Her tail wags uncontrollably, and she flops over on her back and begs for me to pet her tummy. Because, from her perspective, the only reason I ever leave the house is so that I may then return and she can show me how happy she is to see me. There is nothing else that goes on outside of that front door. I just disappear, and come back to greet her. And she gets to be happy all over again. Truly, is there any better anti-depressant than that?

The ancient Egyptians believed that a cat’s purr elicited sacred healing energy. If you’ve ever had a cat cuddle into your chest and purr in contentment, you will understand how that belief came to be! There’s just nothing quite so comforting, is there?

Beyond the enjoyment that pets bring to us, research is indicating an even better reason to own one. Pets have been shown to increase exercise and social activities in their owners. Pets also eliminate feelings of loneliness and reduce doctor visits in their owners. Most remarkably, pets have been clinically shown to provide notable health benefits. For example, pet ownership has been directly linked to lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol and lower triglyceride levels. One study shows that dog ownership decreased the odds of death after heart attack from 1 in 15 to 1 in 87! That’s pretty dramatic stuff! (www.peteducation.com).

Some dogs are specially trained as therapy dogs. Gus is a golden retriever who works alongside his owner Carolyn. Gus routinely visits nursing home residents to perform his miracles of love. The following story, written by his owner, Carolyn, is told from Gus’ perspective. This is one of hundreds of stories that demonstrates the astounding healing benefits of dogs—effects that modern day medicine could never hope to accomplish:

The nurse told Carolyn that the old lady in the wheelchair was deaf and could not hear me.  I went up to her anyway and just laid my head in her lap and gazed at her. I didn’t move all the while she stroked my head. When she was finished, we were walking away and Carolyn turned back to look, and the lady’s eyes were wide as saucers and she had a huge smile, like she couldn’t believe what had just happened! I see so many people when I go that I can’t remember them all but I always pay her a special visit whenever I see her. 

This lady continues to be a favorite of mine. The nurses say she has not talked in years. But when she saw me the second time, she said, loud and clear “LOOK AT THAT DOG!”  She said “He’s getting bigger.”  Then she asked how old I was and Carolyn put up two fingers (since she could not hear the response).  Now she calls me over and says, “Come here, Sugar.”  The nurses say she is now talking a little to them because they think I taught her how to talk again, now that she knows she can do it.  Today she said “I haven’t laid my hands on you in quite a while.”  Not bad for a lady who “can’t talk.” Every time I see her, she laughs and tugs at my tail and pets me all over.

This remarkable story is just one example of the unpretentious, unconditionally loving, and brilliant healing gifts that animals bring to humankind. The woman in this story hadn’t spoken a single word over the period of several years. All the doctors, speech pathologists, and therapists that the woman had seen over the years could not do what Gus was able to do for her with his simple gaze of unconditional love.

In closing, please enjoy the dog-quotes below. And be sure to take extra time with your own Honey today~ and strive to be that person s/he thinks you are.

 In Divine Love,   Laurel Lee

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I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands.  When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat.  For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that. 

~W. Dayton Wedgefarth

 

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why. 

~Author Unknown

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. 

~Max Eastman, Enjoyment of Laughter

A dog is not "almost human" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. 

~John Holmes

They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation. 

~Jerome K. Jerome

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that is how dogs spend their lives. 

~Sue Murphy